On Wednesday I picked up Edith from summer camp and we headed over to the park to swing by ourselves for a little bit before we had to pick up Lilah. Edith patiently waited her turn, taking that time to tell me all about her day and how she ate most all of her lunch but didn’t like the meatballs and how Jack is her new best friend and how her least favorite part of the day was having to leave camp, until finally it was her turn to swing. She climbed right up and I started to push her and when she really got going I said, “Bug! You are swinging so high!”, to which she replied, “But I’m not Bug, I’m Edith!”. She laughed and I told her, “But I have always called you bug since you were a baby”. She kept on laughing and said, “But I’m not a baby Mama, I’m a big girl. I’m Edith.”
So we played the “But you’re my bug!”, “No, I’m a big girl” game until we couldn’t laugh anymore. But lets be honest, I may have actually shed a few tears. Here she was, my three-year-old, on the big girl swing having this conversation with me and I wanted to freeze time, just for a little while. Just for enough time to really soak her in because at this moment I could feel her growing and feel the time actually speeding up. This past year went by faster than I could have ever imagined and sometimes it is so easy for me to find myself wishing they were older and able to do things by themselves more, to be more independent of me. But this day on the swings I wanted her to want and need me. I wanted to count every little freckle on her face and memorize their exact position. I wanted to carry her the whole way home just to let her know she still is my little baby.
After a few minutes, the swing next to her opened up so I sat down and we started swinging together. We were talking about random things until she looked at me and said, “See Mama, we are swinging together! We are best friends forever, right?”
Yes Bug, we are always best friends and you’re always my baby.