New York, everything I’ve said about you in January, February, March, and heck, most of April I officially take back. As of Sunday we have had perfect weather and are so happy to take advantage of spending all day outside again. There is no better way to start the day than coffee and bagels in the park.
Lilah hasn’t started walking yet. We have seen her take a couple of steps here or there on her own but she will walk all over the city holding our finger or pushing around her toys. She gets so frustrated that I’m hoping she gets the hang of it soon (though I’m sure I’ll regret saying that at some point).
My first ice cream cone of the season, which will most definitely not be the last. And I will take pictures of these beautiful blossoms everyday until they’re gone so I have a million to look at next winter while I’m cursing this city and asking myself why on earth I live here.
I am terrible at making time for myself. There are plenty of things I want to do outside of my everyday duties of being a mother, wife, and homemaker (do people still use that term?), but it seems that I always have a wonderful excuse why I have to stay home. Usually my response is that “I’m too tired”. And I am tired. The kids wake up at 6 am, I cook three meals a day, commute an hour and a half for Edie’s school, and my husband comes home 15 minutes before the last of the two kids are asleep.
At the root of every excuse is the guilt I feel for enjoying anything outside of my family even though I want the kids to see me having a life outside of them, working toward my dreams and goals. Rationally, I know I am a better mother when I spend time alone. I come home with more patience, energy and gratitude for each moment I am with them. But the guilt keeps sucking me back in and I listen to the negative voices in my head saying “you’re not working hard enough. You don’t give enough of yourself.”
This weekend a girlfriend from High School visited New York and I had the opportunity to spend the whole weekend running around the city without the kids. We went to a Sufjan Stevens concert Friday night and walked 10 miles on Saturday, going from the Brooklyn Flea, the Upper East side, Nolita, and ending the night in Times Square to catch a performance of “Something Rotten”. It was amazing! And the girls were just fine hanging out with Dad. On Sunday I found myself full of energy. I ran all around the park with Edie and enjoyed every second of the day. Bathtime usually feels like a chore that I simply go through the motions of, but Sunday night I didn’t want it to end. Bedtime stories that typically bore me to sleep were so fun to read.
A girlfriend and I have started a weekly “date night” where we find something fun to do – try a new restaurant, take a cooking class, or see a movie. I also need to start using that gym membership I’ve been paying for because a 1 hour yoga break in the middle of the day would put things in perspective. Or find a friend to swap babysitting duties with for a few hours so I could sneak away for a mani/pedi.
Its the weekend! One of my best girlfriends from high school is coming to visit and we have so much planned – including seeing “Something Rotten” on Saturday (it was just nominated for 10 Tony’s!) and a Sufjan Stevens concert. It will definitely be a nice break after being home alone with the girls all week.
Here’s a few things from around the web that caught my eye this week:
I was so tempted to try and score one of these this weekend.